I HAVE LOST MY SOUL AND MY BEST FRIEND

by SUSAN DEAKIN
(GRAN CANARIA SPAIN)

I CHOSE MY SHARNI FROM A PET SHOP; MY BELOVED DOBERMAN BOY; I GREW TO LOVE HIM SO MUCH; HE WAS NOT MY FIRST DOG BUT HE WAS MY FIRST ANGEL: HE WAS WITH ME AT THE DEATH OF MY MOTHER AT THE LOSS OF MY PARTNER; INFACT THROUGH THE SADEST DAYS OF MY LIFE: I THINK AFTER LOOSING THE LAST OF MY FAMILY AND STANDING ALONE IN LIFE FOE THE FIRST TIME; I WOULD HAVE TAKEN A SHORT CUT TO HEAVEN;EXCEPT FOR LEAVING HIM BEHIND: SO I STRUGGLED THROUGH MY GRIEF FILLED DAYS AND NIGHTS WITH HIM CLOSE AND BESIDE ME HE BECAME MORE PRESCIOUS TO ME THAN LIFE ITSELF HE GAVE ME LOVE COMFORT AND A REASON TO GO ON; I DECIDED GOD MUST HAVE SENT HIM TO GET ME THROUGH THIS; SO I CALLED HIM MY SOUL KEEPER; FOR I BELIEVE HE WAS;HE HAD A WONDERFULL LIFE THE BEST I THINK A DOG COULD HAVE: I LOST HIM AFTER A BRIEF ILLNESS OF ONLY A FEW DAYS FROM HEALTHY TO DEATH IN LESS THAN A WEEK; HE HAD CANCER; SO QUICK NO ILL HEALTH NO SIGNS IN ANYWAY THAT I WOULD SUSPECT; AND BELIEVE ME I WATCHED HIS EVERY MOVE; I WOULD HAVE NOTICED THE SLIGHTEST CHANGE THERE WAS NOTHING TO DO BUT TO LET HIM GO; THAT WAS GODS CHOICE I SUPOSE I SHOULD BE GRATEFULL HE DID NOT SUFFER; I CANOT BE THOUGH BECAUSE HE WAS ONLY SEVEN YEARS OLD: NOW MY SOUL IS LOST WITH HIM I AM EMPTY; HE LEFT ME AT 12 MIDNIGHT ON THE 10TH OF SEPTEMBER 2008; WHILST IN THE ICU UNIT ON LIFE SUPORT:I HAVE A HOLE WHERE MY HEART ONCE WAS; AND I CRY STILL EVERY DAY; WHAT I FAIL TO UNDERSTAND IS HOW GOD COULD THINK I WAS ABLE TO FACE LOOSING HIM; AND THAT I WAS READY TO LOOSE HIM; I WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN READY HE WAS MY BABY MY BOY; BUT WHY; I KNOW THERE ARE WORSE THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU; BUT NOT TOO ME; HOW DO I GO ON EVERY DAY IS WORSE NOT BETTER; THERE IS A LOT MORE ABOUT THE STORY OF SHARNI AND I ; BUT THAT WOULD TAKE A YEAR TO TELL; I JUAT WANT YOU TO NO THAT THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE OUT THERE THAT HAS A HOLE FOR A HEART; I DO UNDERSTAND I FEEL FOR YOU AND IN MY GRIEF I TAKE NO SOLACE IN YOURS I JUST WANTED SOMEONE WHO WOULD UNDERSTAND TO KNOW MY SHARNI LIVED WAS REAL WAS PRESCIOUS WAS SPECIAL AND CANOT BE REPLACED OR FORGOTEN; IF THERE IS A GODS MERCY I ASK FOR SOME PEACE FROM MY PAIN; AND I PRAY FOR YOU TOO: AMEN SUSAN AND SHARNI GRAN CANARIA SPAIN